What to do when they want to quit?

She will be moving up this season and has been training for it for the past few months, it seems out of the blue one night before bed she says, “I want to quit.” Lots of tears and a reassuring hug follow. As she finally drifts off into sleep, you find yourself wondering if there is anyone else going through the same thing. Good news is, YES! At one point, this comes up in a young gymnasts’ career and many have gone through the same thing.

Most parents are not interested in how to help their daughters to stay in gymnastics but would rather know about how they can help their daughter, regardless of what she will choose to do. While there may not be a step-by-step manual for such an occasion, I have a few points for parents (and gymnasts) pondering hanging up their grips.

Are you really surprised? When kids want to quit anything it doesn’t come out of nowhere, they have been stirring that idea up for some time. She has had the time but unfortunately to you it seems quite abrupt. Don’t tell her what to do or assume anything. Take a breathe, reflect. I’m sure there has been a fear of what you would say, which prevented her from saying her thoughts in the first place. The most important thing for her right now is making sure that you are there to help her work through this huge decision. Ask questions so you can help be her guide.

Get to the root of her sadness. Is she at a vulnerable age, going through puberty? A Pre-teen female gymnast might face challenges that include increased vulnerability to repetitive stress injuries during the growth spurt, the social and physical ramifications of practice hours, and the quite reasonable fears associated with the increasing complexity, difficulty, and objective danger of skills as girls advance.

Involve the Coach. Coaches play a very critical role in this process; many may be unaware or unwilling to play the part (Let’s hope he/she is not one unwilling!) Communication with the coach needs to be there. It’s imperative for them to know their athletes needs physically and emotionally.

Encourage Retirement: Throw out that negative word, “quit” in all of your conversations. She should not forget all of her hard work, accomplishments nor should she feel like she is just throwing it away if she does decide to end her career. A retirement helps to take pressure off of the decision and also requires planning which is something positive to look forward to.

Stopping for now, doesn’t always mean forever:  Gymnasts may leave the gym, but gymnastics never leaves their hearts. There will always be a gym door open whether she wants to play around at an Open Gym, a recreational class or an adult gymnastics class later on in life. Who knows, she may just need a break and will be back at the end of the summer.